A well thought out article by the Divorce Collaborative in Massachusetts.
If you are facing a divorce, you may feel overwhelmed and unsure about the future. Perhaps you have a friend or relative that suffered through a high-conflict divorce that took years and wiped them out financially and emotionally. Although divorce and other family law issues are among the most stressful of situations, you are not powerless to decide what type of divorce you are going to have, even if you are not the initiating spouse. Our Boston divorce lawyer can help explain your options below.
When relationships end it is natural for strong emotions to be present, but divorce should not be about revenge or making your spouse suffer for past events. If this is your primary goal, you will likely have an expensive, miserable divorce and be even more unhappy when it is eventually over. If you have kids, they will almost certainly feel the negative effects of the conflict. Their relationships with one or both parents could be damaged, sometimes with long-term consequences. In the beginning, you may think getting back at your spouse will make you feel better, but it won’t.
Thus, before you start the divorce process think about what type of divorce would you rather have? If you are a parent, even if your children are grown, how do you want your kids to view you during and after the divorce? Try to move beyond feelings of anger or sadness and consider what steps you should take to manage this conflict in a financially and emotionally intelligent way.